Obama Misstep

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Our president, once again, disparaging of and indifferent to all tenets of law and order, has pardoned co-conspirators Cobbler and Gobbler, both Virginia natives. My sources indicate that they are both IN ON IT. This pardon was perpetrated in our nation’s capitol; right under our own eyes in the Rose Garden. Broadcasted, in fact.

Capital punishment is the only appropriate remedy for these unhuman perps; preferably death by drowning. In cranberry sauce and gravy. Some would call for the dastardly pair to be straight-up fried, but I believe a more traditional demise is a better fit with our long-held American ideals.

(Well, if you voted for that bleeding-heart dope, I guess you can’t complain. Enjoy your tofurkey.)

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In related news –

The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man has been sighted crossing state lines with an accomplice. This accomplice is WANTED and has been described as having an orange complexion and multiple eyes. I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am taking action – will be heading out on a search party tomorrow with a blowtorch, and I vow:

Those two will NOT escape me.

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