Criss-Cross Double-Cross

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hey, ok – I had an idea for a B-movie, so humor me if you will with this, a fanciful first (rough (ok, very rough)) draft:

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Remember the Tylenol killer? You know, the one who’s still out and about?

Suppose Mr. Tylenol wanted to kill his boss, a Tylenol user, without getting caught. Well, before he poisoned the boss’s Tylenol, he’d poison random bottles of Tylenol. That way, his boss would be just one of many murdered, and a particular motive or probable suspect would be obfuscated.

Let’s suppose your big-money client, probably your only client (and you got one big-ass mortgage), was maybe in some hot water to begin with, and he tells you to neutralize an editor that broke a number of problematic stories about said probationee client. You know a little something about the legal system, so you decide to use what you know, and frame this journalist for a crime. Of course the crime has to be something you have the ability to pull off. Hey,  how about a SWAT?

And maybe there’s also a high-profile guy out there talking about some political hoax you or your buddies pulled, and it would be great to try to shut him up in the process, thereby killing two birds with one stone.

So what’s the first thing you would do. Ok, so you need the high profile dude’s name and details to be out there, so it could be believed that your journalist target would easily be able to access the info needed were he to SWAT the talker. So you need someone, other than you of course, to out your talker and publish his details. And, oh yeah – since he’s revealing some things your team would rather not have revealed, why not discredit the dude and make him public enemy #1 at the same time?

But wait – how are you going to be able to sell this info to a media outlet to get it published?

Well, luckily for you, the talker has already told one of your team leaders that there’s a couple things in his past that, while not huge deals, are maybe not his most shining moments. So, since you already know the talker is a pretty nice guy, you demand from the talker his Social Security number, Driver’s License number and whatever else you can think of. With this info, now you can get the details that you need to have published and you also can use it to confirm what the talker told you, and even dig up more dirt, so you can manufacture a sale-able story that you can pitch to your buddy who works for a tabloid site.

In the meantime, you and your cohorts have long conversations with the real target; maybe you tape his voice, so you can 1. hand it off to someone you think is a decent mimic (but turns out not to be) and 2. Give it to your co-conspirator who just happens to be an audio engineer, so he can figure out the best way to alter your mimic’s voice to match your target’s voice.

Along the way, maybe some bim comes along and threatens to blow the whole operation. Wouldn’t it be great to get her on the phone and do yet another SWAT to thwart and discredit her? Hmm, that might be hard to sell – that two unrelated people asking questions about you and your buds – would both happen to be SWAT-ing people willy-nilly.

But then you get a great idea! Tell everyone that they do know each other, that they’re actually working together, oh hell – go all the way – that they’re “IN LEAGUE” together. Plus you have a bunch of weak-minded trolls on hand to spin that story, and all they require is a couple of crumbs. Aw turns out she’s smarter than she looks and you can’t get her on the phone (sad face).

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See where this is going? I doubt you need my help to write the rest.

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