I usually think that other people’s written-down dreams are boring. Are these too boring to read? Or are they mildly entertaining? You can be honest.
1. I found out that I actually had a brother named Gregory, but he’d been a bad little kid so my parents gave him away. I was asking my grandfather to tell me about it, but he wanted me to pay him for the information.
2. I was at the office. I was pregnant, but not showing. I had my stuff and was ready to go. My boyfriend and a girlfriend of mine were with me. We were wearing college clothes. My boyfriend was so cute! He had curly black hair. I sensed my girlfriend liked him. Could I still be friends with her? If we went out together and I flirted with someone, I bet she’d run back and tell my boyfriend about it.
It was dark and cold and windy out and I was moving to a new apartment. I kept dropping my stuff, especially the paper that had my new apartment number written on it. My boyfriend drove us over to the new building in a small car from the ‘70’s. When we got there, Cindy Lauper was outside manning the desk. I had known her for many years. It was late. She helped me get checked in and we went up to the apartment. The bathroom had two toilets. I had forgotten to check if there was air-conditioning.
My boyfriend and I sat with Cindy in the living room. She had become a man (not a bad-looking one; well-groomed, but not especially handsome) and was explaining to me that I was going to become a man also. I couldn’t quite believe her – I hadn’t had any surgery and I wasn’t taking any hormones. I felt as feminine as ever (which is extremely feminine.) My boyfriend seemed to be taking the news quite stoically. I wondered if he would still be attracted to me when I was a man. I knew he loved me and I assumed I’d be a hot guy, but still, there are limits.
3. I met someone like C, but younger and rougher in the school cafeteria. He lived on my hall in the dorms. We were friendly but not friends. I liked him. He walked me to work after lunch one day, then said he’d be right back. He returned with a cute friend also my type, because he wanted to see if Joan and I could be distracted from our work by handsome men. The four of us sat at a wooden library table in a large bustling windowed office. At first, the boys sat across from us, but I said it would be better if we sat boy-girl across from girl-boy, so we did and I was right. My legs were tan and I crossed them. At work, we had a massive deadline coming up; I was the point person, responsible for many people and parts. I looked at the code on a hardcopy. It was printed in different fonts. I couldn’t understand any of it. My boss was white, in his forties, with a dark blonde mustache; he had no humor and was crisply dressed in clothes I didn‘t like. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, or if I should just wait to get fired.
One morning before dawn “C” and I walked toward the city, I nonchalantly said goodbye and walked uphill toward “Tribeca”, but it was grimy and dirty. I felt bad that he went in another direction and didn’t want to come with me. I looked for breakfast, going from dingy place to dingy place, but nothing seemed appetizing.
Back at campus, “C”‘s blonde goofy roommate was more interested in talking to me than “C” was, although “C” was always pleasant and polite. In the ladies’ room, a tall man with dark curly hair and a tan suit (I found him unattractive) told me about a great play he had seen at the Deborah Theatre (we were now in Pittsburgh) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. That sounded good to me and I wondered if “C” would want to see it too. The man and I talked about how auditions could be trying, because I was auditioning for something that day. He gave the example that he had auditioned for a play in which he was supposed to kiss a 7th grade boy. But at the audition, they had a very old man standing in for the boy, so it was awful to have to kiss an old old guy instead. The black pink-uniformed ladies’ room attendant didn’t comment, but she got me a towel.
4. I pushed the wrong button on my computer and the plastic sides popped up and slid out of position. Underneath was flesh; dead or alive, I couldn’t tell.
5. An old roommate came to stay over for a night. She was older and black. A friend of hers was a limo driver and picked us up. The weather was nice. We went for a ferry ride. I got separated from them. The lower deck of the ferry was filled with water; I had to swim across it. When we docked we were in New Jersey, but near a bus station. I was trying to figure out how to get back to the city.
6. I had moved out of the metro area. In my new area, the décor was tacky, lots of pastels and glitter, but I liked it. For example, there was a foot-high cream-colored velveteen elephant dusted with baby-blue and lavender sparkles. I figured that when I was interviewed, I’d be able to say honestly that I was happy about the move because I liked the knick-knacks. My aunt lived there too, and her living room resembled a waiting area with tiled floors and a row of black hard-backed chairs bolted together. The people there were arguing, though not heatedly, about whether to watch Craig Kilborne or Greg Kinnear on the wall-mounted television.
7. I was in elementary school. We had to change rooms for lunch and the room was hard to find. We sat at tables for two facing forward. The girl next to me looked 15. She liked a boy who also looked 15. He wore black, including a black watchcap and sat on the floor leaning against the wall. He had thin blonde curly hair and a pale round face. I thought maybe I should be friends with them.
After school, I was riding in the back seat of the car with my siblings. We were bringing a shopping cart filled with food back from the supermarket. I said we should pull it right into the garage, but my mother angrily insisted that I should pull the full cart up the backyard steps and up onto the porch. So I did, but she was still yelling at me, chiding me, and denigrating me because I had disagreed with her. All my siblings agreed with her because it was easier for them to agree with her. I got myself caught in the shopping cart, trying to unload it on the porch. My mother’s husband sternly wanted to know what the problem was, so I told him. He was very fit, not so tall, somewhat tanned, shaved head, canvas boating shoes, long cotton khaki shorts, collared shirt; he tossed his car keys once from one hand to the other. He probably drove a Lexus or a nicer Volvo. He confronted my mother, repeatedly calling attention to the fact that even though I’d done as she wished, she continued and continued to yell at me. She wasn’t having any of it and strode away from him.
8. I was at a long long table on the street having dinner in India. It was a lovely night. Above our heads, each diner had a video monitor. I was playing a cartoonish game similar to The Sims. Suddenly, a large chest of drawers fell through the ceiling and onto my avatar’s head instantly killing him. This amused me, but I saw that the game was too random to win by strategy, so I stopped playing it. I turned my attention to my fellow diners. On my right was a blue-suited priggish, snub-nosed un-smiling short male who seemed too young to carry off a suit. But across the table and to the left was a handsome, also young, guy with straight blonde hair. Also in a blue suit. Also not so tall. He had taken notice of me. We heard someone down the table to my right saying something ridiculous, which gave us the opportunity to smile at each other.
Dinner was over so we all headed to a dark but crowded bar which was just up the street. Some of the other girls wore stoles. On the bar were day-glo exotic libations in aqua and bright pink. I chose a thick dark purple one labeled “Bee”, which I ordered with vodka. It was perfumey, but good. The barmaid wove the bills from my change together in an artistic manner before laying them on the bar for me. Since I wasn’t familiar with their money, it took me a while to figure out the tip. I left what amounted to a couple of dollars, but also left some tiny denomination bills — worth a few pennies. A tall burly Indian behind the bar started storming around the place, yelling loudly to everyone that it was the worst tip he’d ever seen. He was wearing a maroon button-down shirt with no tie. He wasn’t mad at the amount, he was mad because it was rumpled and I’d also left the small bills. My tall handsome boss, who was beautifully suited in black and had close-cropped auburn hair, offhandedly gestured to the money and said to the man that I didn’t even owe them that. I tried to explain why the man was mad, but then I felt bad for interfering with my boss because he was so nice and so handsome.
9. I was watching a one-hit wonder seventies rock group with a few hundred other people. We were all standing on a dark green soggy field in England on a cool gray day. I wore a white trench coat. The crowd listened quietly but with interest. The band hadn’t aged much; they were still lean with silky brown hair. No gray in their mustaches. They wore brown corduroys and thin cotton striped button-down shirts. After the concert, the band disappeared into a tunnel beneath the sod. The crowd walked to their cars, also in the field, a few yards away. People were talking about getting together for another concert there that evening. My friend’s boyfriend had some showbiz stuff to take care of, so we followed the band into the tunnel. At the end of it was a K-Mart.
10. I was taking part in the first phase of a study which involved casual meetings at round tables and once, meeting in a restaurant. The PhD running the study wore black, was pale, overweight, busty, fairly young with dark lank hair put up. Someone congratulated me on the subway because I had been selected for Phase II of the study. Phase II necessitated my living with R.R., but he didn’t look like R.R. He had thick dark hair, a handsome middle class everyman. R.R. was overly excited about this turn of events. He burst into my apartment with flowers and lifted me in a gleeful hug. His enthusiasm concerned me.